Road Trip!

Dec. 3rd, 2010 10:36 pm
Just a quick post - I'm at my cousin's in Reno.  Her son is getting baptized tomorrow, so I hitched a ride with my other cousin and her kids and made a weekend of it.  It was a stinking long drive and the kids were pretty rowdy.  But then I pulled out my laptop and we all watched "Doctor Who" between Wendover and Reno (I have a massively good battery - when the battery was dead, we switched to episodes on my iPod).  It's amazing how quiet they were when the Doctor was on the screen (we got through "The Next Doctor" to "The Waters of Mars").  Even the older boy that doesn't really like DW very much enjoyed having something to other than torture his siblings.

Along the way, my Reno cousin called and proposed that I go on a blind date with someone in her ward.  You'd think I'd have learned my lesson last March, but she's really nice and it's not like I can make anything last with this guy (with a six hour drive between us, you see).  But whatever.  I've never been to Reno, so what better way to see the sights, I suppose (yes, everyone's thinking how deprived I am from never having been to Reno /sarcasm).

I'm excited to be visiting... but I have the feeling that it's going to be an exhausting weekend.  In a good way.
Oh look, a non-Doctor Who related post.

This seems to happen every time I come back to the ranch after a prolonged absence.  I've been in town for a month pretty much left to my own devices and I've been content to be on my own.  But while I've been gone, my dear sweet cousin whom I love dearly has been busy.  They had a family reunion out in Reno last month and she wound up staying with her sister (my other dear sweet cousin whom I also love dearly) and her family for about a week longer than they'd planned because of car trouble.  Well and good (not that they had car trouble, but that they got to spend time together).

Well, I come back out for the 4th and my cousin says she met a guy out in Reno that she wants to set me up with.  And his qualifications are: 1. he's a diesel mechanic, 2. he's about 6' something tall, 3. he's really nice.  And he said he'd take me out on a date if I came out to Reno to visit (which, I wouldn't be opposed to visiting Reno to see my cousin and her family - I've thought about doing that on a couple of vacations and I just haven't done it).

Just as I'm about to tell my cousin "thanks, but no thanks," Mom walks in and gives me the "You've been home for almost a year and you really haven't dated anybody, so just go and think of it as a free meal."  Okay, 1. I did too go out on three dates with that one kid that ended up pissing me off after I got my hopes up and stuff (and which my flist knows only too well about).  2. The "free meal" mindset on dating is the most pathetic and asinine thing ever dreamed up by the mind of a lonely spinster woman.  And 3. Just... no.

(As an aside, this cousin is the same cousin whose darling little children were standing outside my window last night trying to open the window to climb inside my room (glad I had it locked from the inside) and yelling and shouting and throwing things down the window well and - I swear they were - peeing on the glass.  Luckily, I was preoccupied with nursing my broken soul after watching "The Waters of Mars" and also fangirling over David Tennant videos sent to me by [livejournal.com profile] narniadear, so happily I was able to ignore them.  I affectionately call these kids "The Greatest Form of Birth Control" because after spending even an hour with them, I think anyone would be screaming for the nunnery).

Anyway, this doesn't have me as upset as it sounds, but it's just annoying that I've been gone for about a month and had two big class weekends while I was gone and had a great time with all of that, but the first thing people want to talk to me about when I come back is my dating life.  Good grief - I am achieving great and marvelous things with my schooling and with my church calling and I am enjoying my single-ness-hood-ship (whatever you call it).  Plus, I finally got our printed yearbooks and we're probably going to have our little yearbook-signing party tonight and I consider that something good.  I'd rather talk about those things than whine and mope that I haven't had a date in months because what good does that do?

What kills me is that it's not even me that's bringing this up!  I love my family, I truly do (even the Birth Control children - in moderation).  I am glad that my married sister is happy and that she has a terrific husband (seriously - I have an awesome brother-in-law).  But I think it bothers my family that my younger sister was married before I was.  But it doesn't bother me at all - I always figured she'd get married before I did.  We're just that different and it's perfectly okay.  I've gone at my own pace my whole life and I'm happy to continue to do so.
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I don't usually answer these things, but this one had my attention.

I haven't had so many actual "break-ups" (in the traditional sense), but I've had some hefty romantic disappointments that have felt like break-ups.  And it's always been the guy doing the actual breaking up.  And I suppose I should count myself lucky that I've never had a big blow-up-style break-up, but I think this weak, awkward "let's be friend" crap is just as bad, if not worse.

Personally (and maybe this is just me being weird), I never want to do the "let's stay friends" thing with a guy that I've dated.  Mostly because at some point in the relationship, I've probably imagined what it would be like if it was permanent and more often than not, I get attached to the idea of the permanence.  Sad, I know.  I don't know how other people avoid doing that.  I wish I didn't because it sucks.  But the really sad part is when HE wants to keep up the "friends" BS and I don't know how to tell him to knock it off without being completely bitchy.  Every time I get a phone call from him or an email or a Facebook message or I actually see him in real life, it reminds me of that happy, giddy "holy crap, this could be THE ONE" feeling and I'm reminded how everything really turned out and I feel embarrassed and idiotic.  So, while he may think that it's okay that we be "friends," I honestly would prefer that he never make contact with me again.  To the result that when I do hear from him, I'm not very nice.  Then, I feel even worse because I know he was just trying to be kind and I threw it back in his face.

The worst phrase in the English language is "Let's be friends" because all it is is a pathetic attempt to soften the blow that would probably be better in the long run if he just kicked me to the curb in the cruelest way possible.  That way, I don't beat myself up into a bloody pulp when I do treat him like scum when he calls or emails (oh gee, isn't this such a happy topic of discussion?  And on Easter Sunday of all days).  Just be abrupt and tell me you don't ever want to see me again.  Emulate the Band-aid method - it's a bit more painful, but it's fast and done with.  Don't feel like you have be bestest best buds just because it somehow eases your conscience.  In reality, it doesn't.  All it does is make life more awkward for the both of us.  To be honest, I really don't feel like I've completely healed over it, even though I act like I have.  "Friends" just prolongs the suffering.

Does this make me a heartless shrew?  Perhaps.  But it's good incentive to never date (and now I want to do a Facebook friends cut... I wonder how you do that...)
I Believe the Term You're Looking for is *headdesk* - Just came back from yearbook.  And found out that the school owns a copy of Adobe PageMaker!  And we've been needlessly using PowerPoint this whole time!!  The best line was the principal going "Oh - well, we used PowerPoint last year and it was a nice yearbook."

(Note - Last year's yearbook was the publishing world's version of cow manure.  Even the kids said so.  If you saw it, you'd think so even if you had the tact to not say it out loud.  Which I didn't until this year's staff said it first.  Then I felt okay about it.)

Is There Something You're Trying to Tell Me? - Upon my return home, I got the mail and saw that this month's church magazines had come.  And one of the cover stories on the Ensign (the magazine for adults) was "Confidence to Marry" and then listed four - count 'em, FOUR - page numbers on which related articles could be found.  If that wasn't enough, the entire New Era (the magazine for teenagers) is dedicated to the topic of "Dating for Beginners."

I'm almost afraid to look in the Friend... (the magazine for children)

Ending on a Upbeat Note and a Question - I also got a notice of my student loan awards and all I have to do is go online and accept the ones I want for the 2010-2011 school year (yay!!!)  But I also have a question that maybe someone out there in internet land can answer - I've been awarded subsidized and unsubsidized loans and a Perkins loan.  I accepted the subsidized loans because those don't accrue interest until I graduate (unsubsidized do).  But, the Perkins loan - I'm not sure when it starts collecting interest.  And I need a little extra because the subsidized loans didn't quite cover all my tuition and fees and I need money for books and such.

So, my question is does anyone know if a Perkins loan starts accruing interest when I get it or if it waits until I graduate?  I tried looking for the answer online, but nobody has a satisfactory English-non-legalese answer and the financial aid office in Kansas is closed (poo...)
 Following the lead of good ol' Strong Bad himself, the fam has just acquired a nice, new shiny desktop computer.  Like, Compy Compe, widescreen, HD awesomeness.  And it doesn't take a whole trimester to load.  It's pretty sweet (and I'm getting the hang of using Windows 7, which makes me want a new laptop all the more - mostly because my Lappy is about to die anyway.  Shiiiiiiiny object...)

Oh, and I have a date next Thursday.  This couple in our branch knows a guy that works at the University of Utah (teaches? works? not sure) in the computer science department.  They asked my dad if they should set me up with him and my dad said go for (without consulting me before he gave permission.  Eh, oh well).

Last night, I was visiting my friend Kathryn and was having a jolly time when my dad called and said that he had relayed my phone number through the couple in our branch to their friend, Tom (and I have yet to learn his last name), who would likely be calling soon.  Much to my chagrin and just being plain nervous about talking to this guy, I agreed (Kathryn was excited as all get out and ready to coach me through the phone call. 10-15 minutes later, my phone rings.  I don't recognize the number, so I figure it's Tom.  After a hurriedly exclaimed "Oh crap, what do I do?!!" I answer and talk to Tom.  He sounds nice, which is the best I can do at this point.  He proposes we meet next Thursday and have dinner at a place yet-to-be-determined, but he'll let me know.  We say good-bye and I hang up.

And Kathryn is bouncing off the freaking wall!  She's got it all planned out - "wear those jeans with your heeled boots - I'll borrow a purse from my niece - oh, you'll need a nice jacket ..." and it continues.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining about that.  I'm just glad somebody knows how to dress for success on a date, because I certainly don't.  I'm like the female version of Leonard Hofstadter, PhD, but without the PhD (hm, maybe that's why Leonard is my favorite character on "The Big Bang Theory.")  I have a penchant for making things incredibly awkward and blowing things out of proportion and reading too much into things, which is why I have avoided dating in the hopes that the time-honored tradition of arranged marriages will somehow make a comeback.

Oh, well - maybe this won't be so bad.  Granted, I stress more than is necessary.  It's a wonder I don't have some kind of anxiety disorder (I'm serious - I'm not making fun of people who have this problem.  I've been known to have panic attacks over the most stupid things - but that's another post for another day).
I'm here watching Sunday Night Football and I know it's the Christmas buying season because of all the sappy jewelry commercials.  And a blog topic occurs to me.  No way am I going to let this opportunity slide.

So, I have a question - do diamonds really equate love?  I mean, I know commercials are marketing ploys just to get a product's name out there and if you have the most memorable commercial people will buy your product.  But honestly, I can't tell one jewelry commercial from the next.  They all stinking look the same: guy and girl cuddling all sweetly in a blizzard or in front of a warm fireplace.  Maybe she's a little clingier than usual.  Guy is the epitome of gentlemanly chivalry - the kind that no living male could hope to be (I'm letting you guys off the hook here, you can thank me later).  Using the powers of suave that would put James Bond to shame, he pulls out a black box that contains a diamond necklace or earrings or a ring.  Girl expresses surprise - never mind that this has been his Christmas present routine to her the last five-ten years.

I can understand the diamond ring deal if it's an engagement ring (I may be cynical about all this romance crap, but I'm still female and an engagement is a special tradition that even I can't overlook).  But I have a pair of earrings from Claire's that are pearl and cubic zirconium that I just love.  They look the same as any diamond that any boyfriend could give me, I'm sure.  I just don't get what the draw is for a guy to spend zillions of dollars on something that I probably won't wear very often because it's way too nice.

Sure, if you want to spend ten paychecks on something that just sits on my neck or finger or earlobes, I appreciate the gesture.  But I'd rather that money be spent on something fun.  Shoot, let's take the money and go to a football game together.

Besides, if all you give is nice jewelry, it gets boring.  Seriously, how much thought goes into a piece of jewelry?  That's the easy way out for a guy.  Throw your girl a curveball once in a while - have you ever seen "Beauty and the Beast?"  The Beast stresses about a nice present for Belle and he ends up giving her an entire library - something the bookish Belle can truly appreciate.  And the Beast gets to save the diamond for another day when he can't think of anything else.

And then I wonder - what's a nice gift that a girl can give to the special guy in her life?  The answer isn't quite as easy and it probably depends on what your guy's interests are.  She really has to know what he'd like and actually have to put some thought into what she's going to give him.  But it's kind of weird - he gives her a "Past, Present, Future" pendant and she gives him "Grand Theft Auto" for the PS3 (well, I guess each couple has their own tastes - maybe I just think it's weird).

Just my musings... these jewelry commercials are stinking boring.  And I've never been in any kind of relationship where a guy would feel compelled to buy me something nice, so maybe that's where the cynicism comes from.  Meh... take it for what it's worth.

(Man, I keep popping my neck and it feels good.  My neck has been giving me grief lately.  That would be a gift I could appreciate right now - someone to massage my neck and back.)
... it's time for an LJ dump!

Letssee...  (ooh ooh - "New Moon" TV spot - pardon the ADD moment... okay, I'm back) ... the actual week was okay - nothing crazy to report.  My second job asked if I could post my articles, which amounts to some extra hours (yay!!)  Then the weekend - I went home because our stake was having big devotional at the Manti Temple (like, in the upper priesthood room; like, a once-in-a-lifetime big deal thing).  That was pretty sweet and I enjoyed it.

Also, we had our family Halloween party (apparently, this tradition started while I was on my mission - it's a tradition I can support, though).  A few nights before, I decided I was going to go as one of the Twilight vampires (didn't have a particular one in mind, just whoever), so I had to scramble for what I needed.  I had makeup (I'm fair-skinned as it is, so I just had to go a little paler) and some cool looking high heeled boots.  I went online to see how to be a Twilight vampire and they all said you had to have colored contacts, which I can see.  But I already wear prescription contacts and getting colored prescription contacts for one night is pretty stupid (I'm NOT going around with yellow eyes in real life).  But - intelligent me, forgot the button-up shirt that I'd found to wear, so I had to turn my Gators shirt inside out (lucky it was black).  But it was cool.  When I go to the Scream on Friday, at least I won't be leaving parts of my costume other places.

(TV-ADD Moment: Oh jeez, these Redskins stink...)

The party was fun - got to see some cousins that I don't always get to see.  Then Saturday, Mom and Dad went to the Utes game and I stayed in Delta with my sisters and the dog (hands down, the dog was better company).

I have a beef, however - Why is it that Utah State's football team, who aren't exactly headed for any championships anytime soon, can get on ESPN, but the two teams in the state that are ranked in the BCS (Utah and BYU) have to cater to the small fish at Versus and Comcast?  We have DirecTV at home and the idiots at Comcast has bought out Versus and said that no one else can carry that channel.  Versus was the ONLY chance Mountain West fans had to watch the games on TV because we have to have that insanely retarded mtn. channel - it's not even big league enough to spell anything out, I'd like to point out (hate you, Dave Checketts, HATE YOU!!!)  It sucks that I can watch every NFL game that I want, but I can't even get a simple local college team on TV.  Sigh... an argument that's been levied for at least three years and probably will be revisited until the rest of forever.  It's like universal health care - no one wants it, but they snuck it through and now that we have it, we can't get rid of it.

Oh well - the Utes won.  BYU got spanked.  Even though they beat BYU, TCU is fast becoming the Patriots of the Mountain West - where the crap did they come from, can we please shut up about them and will the Utes please beat the snot out of them?  I just don't want them beating MY team, that's all.

Oh - my roommate had some fun updates from Steve - I guess he told her mom that we were "good people."  Let the analysis begin!  I guess the way he said it makes this significant.  This means that we must go back and make it a BIGGER visit (not sure what "BIGGER" means - I'm not going in a wedding dress or anything).  But my roommate is taking over the logistics, which is good, because I haven't a clue what to do - if anything should be done at all.  I reiterate: I wouldn't mind getting to know this guy better - he's really cool and had life pretty well figured out.  But how do I do this and not look like a desperate twit?

(TV-ADD Moment - I usually love adaptations of "A Christmas Carol," but this Disney 3D version looks like a hack job just to have a 3D Christmas movie.  Hm...)

And last night, I got back at 12:30 am - and I'm getting a cold (Zicam, NyQuil and orange juice are on hand), so I am wiped out.

Well, that's what's on my mind.  At least, what's on my mind that I could post on LJ and not get my butt kicked by certain people (and they know who they are).  But that's what hard copy journals are for ^_^
I realized I didn't update about my weekend adventures.  I met the famous Steve on Friday and things went okay.  We had lunch with my roommate's mom and with Steve.  He's pretty cool - a little goofy, but okay.  He's a computer geek, but he's business savvy - and he likes football!  I'm not completely sold on the idea yet... but my roommate said we need to plan another time to "drop in."  I wouldn't mind getting to know him better, honestly - but I've said that before with disastrous results.  So, I'm still wary of all this.

Not wary enough, however, to not try finding him on Facebook, but there are too many and none that explicitly say that they're in Utah.  .... .... .... I just re-read that sentence and it sounded incredibly stalker-like.  Ah, the beauties of the internet...

I'm halfway hoping that this could be a third-party's idea -- like, my roommate's mom suggests outright to Steve that he should ask me out or set something up or whatever.  Or, maybe I just want to hang the entire idea and stay right where I am.  This is too much work - these things should just work themselves out organically and not with a bunch of meddling or artificial orchestrating because I am an idiot when it comes to orchestrating anything in the social sector.  I would much prefer that I become friends with a guy and he takes the initiative to ask me out.

And then I realize... in today's feminist society, guys don't feel empowered to take any kind of initiative because they don't want to look like a bunch of sexist cavemen.  So, they just sit around and play Xbox on their mother's couch, leaving us old-fashioned types (you know, that actually like it when a guy calls or opens the door or stands when we enter the room) in the dust.  So, the thought of a guy taking the initiative is out.

Modern feminists, I wave my middle finger in your general direction.

(I went from talking about my weekend to ranting against feminism - if that's not certifiable insane, I don't know what is).

Well, all is not lost - I could always get a job at CTU and, during the stress of saving a major US city from the threat of a nuclear bomb, fall for the incredibly dreamy manager and we get married before the next season (before getting offed by a car bomb in two more seasons - oh well, it was great while it lasted). (see icon)

Still one of the funniest lines in all of movie history.

I should have thought of this last night, but my losing battle with the kitchen cabinet kind of took precedence. Oh well, never mind, I need a post for tonight (and it's not about football for once!)

Flux Capacitor... Fluxing )

What the hell is a jigawatt?!! )

Oh gosh - I am so screwed...

ETA -  This is completely unrelated but I was looking at the Facebook friends of an old friend from high school (we go waaaay back).  She has a boatload of Facebook friends and it was a little surreal to see some of those people.  Oy... high school... flashbacks...  I don't think I want to do that again.... therapy, please....

Boy, am I a glutton for punishment.  Mom and Dad can't use their tickets for the Utah/UCLA game on Saturday, so I've agreed to take the tickets.  The problem is (besides the fact that we're going to get steamrollered - sheesh, I feel like I'm back at Utah State) that I don't have anyone to go with that I would actually enjoy going with.  Most of my friends are busy and the rest aren't really into football.  I know if I tell my parents this, Dad at least will say "So, find some random guy in your ward and go on a date." (he hasn't actually said this about this particular situation, but I know my dad).

Okay, a football game is NOT the place for me to make a good first impression on a guy (especially this game).  That may be tenth or eleventh date material, after I've gotten to know him and am comfortable being myself around him (I'm ballparking the numbers - never having gotten past the first date with anybody, thus my expertise is limited).  Sigh... I'm not sure where my judgment was when I agreed to take the tickets.

In more enjoyable news, I started taking Hunter's Safety on Monday (I had a three-hour class Monday and a three-hour class last night, which is why I'm so tired - I've only been home long enough to read the chapters in the manual).  I've already been to two classes and there are two more next week and then I take my shooting test on Wednesday.  I'm not too worried about the shooting test - we have to get at least 25 out of 50 shots inside the target area to pass, but the last time I went target shooting, I decimated the center of that paper groundhog (that was back in April).  Once I pass the written and the shooting test, I'll get my blue card and a small game license (meaning I can hunt pheasants and things like that).  I'm pretty excited about it I'll finally be able to hunt legally.  Okay, I'm kidding - I've only hunted rabbits and you can hunt those any time.


Today, my roommate, S, invited a bunch of people over for Sunday dinner, which wasn't that big of a deal, except she did it without asking me.  And the people that she invited aren't the kind of people that I like to hang around with.  Oh well, as long at they don't get mad at me for sitting here and watching the first week of football (like I've been planning to do for weeks and weeks) in my jeans and t-shirt while they have a "civilized" "double-date" type dinner in their church clothes (personally, I find it difficult to relax in my nice clothes.  I don't wear church clothes all day on Sunday unless I absolutely have to).  I had my Sunday plans first, which never involve putting together elaborate meals for other people.  The most I'll ever do is throw something in the Crock-Pot before church and tell people to help themselves ("people" here meaning me, myself and I).  Don't get pissed at me because what you did conflicted with what I'm doing.

The depressing thing is that the guys that S invited over are an accurate sampling of the dorky  goobers that live in my apartment complex.  I might have been a little more eager to participate if there were some men that I would want to keep company with.  But these won't shut up about their missions and the subtle intricacies related therein (that we've heard in testimony meeting ad nauseum).  It's all well and good to go on a mission, but when you're home, find something else to get involved with so you have something to relate to with normal people.  Join a book club or go see movies or play fantasy football.  Hell, you could start knitting, I don't care.  Just do something that doesn't involve stupid companion tricks or rabid dogs or Mexican stomach viruses.

And my brother wonders why I don't date.

(Apologies for that short rant, but I spent my Saturday getting crap from my 17-year-old brother because I don't date and that should just "go find a boyfriend" (could anyone please point me to the nearest boyfriend tree so I can find a ripe one?)  Sheesh, I already blindly e-mailed some guy that I've never even met, but I thought it would be a good idea anyway.  Is it my fault that he didn't reply?  I'm just a little torqued off in the relationship department right now.)

Speaking of our national pasttime (well, it should be), my fantasy football team is kicking butt!  Granted, most of my teams have already played and the fantasy team I'm playing against has mostly Dallas Cowboys players (who don't play until later tonight), but I'm quite pleased with myself for doing so well my first week (of course, with my luck, Peyton Manning will be out with the flu next week and my team will completely fold).

(It's so weird seeing the split-screen of the Detroit Lions celebrating their win over the Raiders and the people who found Camille Cleverley's body at the bottom of Bridal Veil Falls.  I haven't been following the story at all, but that was a random observation.)

Pardon my orneriness, but it's been a long weekend.  Don't even get me started on the Utes game.  Stupid offense... I'm redshirting this year.

Puh... I'm gonna go watch Football Night in America now. 

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jenny_wildcat

December 2011

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