It's just my luck. You know, I've cheered for the Utah Jazz and the Utah Utes (football and basketball) all my life. I've seen these teams have success, but never win any championships. They've come close, but never got there, much to my disappointment and many tears (ask me about a Jazz Finals game I went to when I was 13. Heartbreaking...).

So, in order to be more "diverse" Davey Checketts brings Euro-trash - I mean, soccer - to Salt Lake. And wouldn't you know it, they would win their retarded championship. The one pro team in Utah I hate - and they win their championship (after having a losing season, it seems). There is no justice in this world. This idiotic Real Salt Lake team has only been around for - what - five years? The only people who will be celebrating are all the illegal Mexicans. What about us white folk that have been holding out for one of our American teams to do well? This is SO not fair!!

How the crap do you win by tying? What kind of stupid game is this? What kind of stupid name is Real Salt Lake? Can't you at least have a real team name? This isn't Spain - this is the Wasatch Front. We're not trying to impress people here. If you want to be accepted in this country, have a name like - Tigers or Bulldogs. We're not France or England or any other stupid country in Europe. And we're sure as heck not Mexico (contrary to what some people might think).

I hate soccer (or as I like to call it, Cat-Herding). Because it's popular in Europe and the "world" likes it and they tell Americans that we have to like it, I hate it. I could be more tolerant of it if they weren't so snotty about it.

I will say this: at least they don't have "Utah" in their name. I don't have to cheer for them. I don't live in Salt Lake. They have no claim on me and I have no claim on them. Just like I don't live in Provo, so I don't cheer for BYU (there are other reasons, but that's the relevant one right now). If it was Real Utah - I'd move to Nevada.

Now the Jazz need to win the Finals. It's only fair. They've been in town longer and they've been denied for more years. More importantly - I've been denied for longer than soccer's been around. Cough up, NBA, NCAA.

(Barring that, Davey Checketts can fork out some money and give Utah an NFL team. If the Rams still stink it up in St. Louis - they can move to Salt Lake. They wouldn't even have to change their initials. Checketts owes us for this humiliation).
Jazz lost to San Antonio and SA is going to the NBA Finals.  Honestly, I'm glad that the Jazz lasted as long as they did because, as rabid and loyal a fan as I am, I also know when to be realistic.  The end of the Jazz's season was not very hopeful, but they kicked Houston and Golden State out of the playoffs when people were saying Houston would sweep the Jazz and the Jazz suck and blahdy-blah, etc, piss me off.

But, no.  The Jazz made a great run at the playoffs and I actually got to see some games (I never got to watch while I was in school, but I was able to keep tabs on the box scores and things).  It reminded me a lot of the Stockton-Malone glory days and I reveled in every aspect of it.  Now that the team has had this playoff experience, they can get better and find what works and what didn't work and get ready for next season.  I'm optimistic for next year and I'm also ready to cheer for San Antonio (it's always been my policy - if I can't cheer for the Jazz, I cheer for the Spurs.  Besides, I'm sick of hearing about great LeBron James or the Detriot Pistons are.  The West is going to win, just you watch.  Because of that, I don't feel too bad that we lost).

The bad thing is that now I have to listen to only how wonderful it is to have a professional soccer team in Utah, which is actually a load of bullshit.  We won't hear anything good about the Utah Blaze, which is our Arena Football League (remember football? Hitting, running, passing, scoring, testosterone, real men?), but Real Salt Lake is that loser Dave Checketts baby and he's so wonderful and I want to puke?  Though, there was something funny on the radio today.  One radio commentator said that a RSL fan could read a book better than a Utah Blaze fan, to which I replied that the only book the RSL fan could read would be Dora the Explorer (Go! Diego Go! means run over that border, Diego! -- I never said my blog would be politically correct, and thankfully so).  The only people who like soccer are illegals and yuppies from South Jordan.

Go Jazz! (and would RSL please relocate?  Or can little Davey Checketts pony up some dough to get a real sport in Utah -- like an NFL team?  I think he owes us that after all this humiliation).

Love from,
Jenny Wildcat

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jenny_wildcat

December 2011

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