The Wildcat's Den

Well, my family's "She's-Writing-Potentially-Embarrassing-Stuff-About-Us-On-Her-Subversive-Blog-Again" alarm went haywire today.  My sister, Emily, read my post about my 4th of July and let me know that she's going to be on the warpath [EDIT: Okay, she's really not on the warpath], not to mention that the next time my mom gets mad at me, she'll bring this up (and every time after that for another 15 years.  It got slightly irritating after five years).

You know, no one in real life (not on my f-list) reads this blog and lets me know that they do and lets me know what they actually LIKE.  It's always what they DON'T LIKE. I'm starting to get a taste of what Ann Coulter gets from liberals and the mainstream media all the time.  The difference between me and her is that I'm rather thin-skinned (a term which here means an overly-sensitive, emotional little twerp), whereas she can laugh about all the vicious criticism she gets (makes me admire her all the more).

I guess that I need to make friends with the "Friends" filter (no pun intended).  I've used it a bit, but not a whole lot.  I would just like some POSITIVE feedback about my musings from my family once in a while.  But no, it's only when I get pissed and that they actually acknowledge that I have a blog.  I'm quite pleased with the things I've written on my LJ and that I've made friends here and that it's something I can have fun with.  This is a blog about my life, my thoughts and/or things that I want to bring attention to.

Okay, so you want my thoughts?  Here is what I've really been thinking (the same thing that "People" proclaims about Paris Hilton, but my version will last longer than a coloring book caption):  Is it Emily's fault that I had an XL Old Navy flag t-shirt that made me feel like a fat schlub and my frizzy tweaker hair (as always) hates me (and I return the sentiment), but that she had a nicely fitted Old Navy flag t-shirt and her hair looked great and she wears those big sunglasses well (that's where the Paris Hilton dig came from - at least I clarified that Emily has a high school diploma - would have been a college degree if Em had hers yet)?

I admit it: I'm jealous of my younger sister.  She's average height (crucial when scoping out the male-types), she always looks great, hair and makeup are well-done, good looking guys check her out (not these sad-lost-puppy-dog-losers), she's well-built and she can lift a cooler full of 2-liter bottles of pop by herself.  Add to all this, she just got accepted into the extremely competitive University of Utah Business School (last I heard, she was shooting to get into law school and be a real estate attorney).  How in the hell am I supposed to compete with that?  I'm too tall, my clothes all fit weird, my hair is a curse from Satan himself, my upper-body strength is zero (on a good day) and I graduated from college because I couldn't stand dealing with the Advisement Department from Hell.  Add to all this, my social skills are lacking in the face-to-face arena (but put me in front of a keyboard and an LJ  entry, no problems).  And I can't even get a good idea for this story that I've been "working on" (for lack of a better term) since high school and I have a third of a chapter written.  And I'm an obsessive geek, which I hear doesn't do too well for the self-image.

Emily's Mom and Dad's Golden Child and the only gold I get is from our insane extended family that have gotten on everyone's last nerve and I'm expected to be on "their side" because... hell, I have no idea!! (I'd rather be my parents' Golden One instead of the only one that'll run for Dad's slippers when he hollers.  Most people have their dogs do that).

Take note of this auspicious moment in history, for you are about to witness and grand prediction and pronouncement (well, maybe not that great): Emily will be married before me.  Emily will be a great catch for whatever guy is in the market: she's amazingly intelligent, is going to have an awesome job, has things figured out, is good looking and she'll kick your butt if she feels so inclined.  I, on the other hand, am destined for the Old Mad Cat Lady house.

So there, that's my thoughts for the day.  I've been thinking about this a lot (especially since I moved in with my sister).  I guess it's a good time for me to admit that all the competing we've done over the years is gotten us a fat lot of nowhere and I concede defeat.

I guess that felt good.

Love from,
Jenny Wildcat

PS, I can also guarantee that no one in my family will read this.  If anyone does, leave me a comment (I have it set to leave anonymous comments, go ahead! Leave a comment! [Hit "Reply" in the corner])