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jenny_wildcatIt's my second official day on Christmas break and I'm quite relaxed. It's kinda fun, I'm sitting here in my living room watching "Jingle All the Way" ("Fly TurboMan, use your jetpack!" ... tee hee, media types covering a kiddie Christmas parade. Talk about cheese and crackers ^_^)
Anyway, it's time for my annual Christmas [roast] beef, which I was thinking about on my way out of Logan. I passed a house in the Granola Head District of town (approximately from 400 North to Center Street) that had "Happy Festivus" out on the lawn in Christmas lights. Now, granted, I don't know what Festivus is, but it sounds like an Ancient Roman winter fertility celebration that athiests picked up on so they don't feel left out of all the secular greed and 60% off sales that are a byproduct of end of year winter celebrations. I guess they need an excuse to drink hard liquor and have animal-type sexual relations with people they've only known for five minutes. Why they need that, I don't know. I thought that was what their New Year's was for (you celebrate Christmas in your way, I suppose... even if you don't call it Christmas). I will say this: I'd rather have a colorful Christmas tree up than a bland aluminum Festivus pole (but I guess it would be hard to pole dance with all those ornaments... I calls 'em as I sees 'em).
Okay, so I took the time to look "Festivus" up on Wikipedia and found out that it was inspired by (of all things) a Seinfeld episode. So, I wasn't quite right about all the lewdness and drunkenness (it's only been around for ten years, give it time), but still, it's a holiday for people who want to eat, drink and be merryand sacrifice their livers. Excuse me for celebrating a holiday that makes me want to be better and have actual direction in my life. Sheesh...
Onwards, one thought led to another and here is my beef: As I was passing through downtown Logan with all the Christmas decorations, I noticed that several windows said "Happy Holidays," which has always bothered me. If you have a Christmas tree and a Christmas Santa Claus and depictions of Santa's elves getting ready for Christmas, who are you fooling by saying "Happy Holidays?" If you threw a menorah or some earthy symbol of Kwanzaa in there (what the hell is Kwanzaa, anyway?), I might be able to buy it, but most people who celebrate Christmas do not. If it's obvious that you're celebrating Christmas, for the love of all that is good and holy, say "Merry Christmas!" Personally, if there's someone in the neighborhood that wants to decorate for Hanukkah, then they can put up "Happy Hanukkah" in their window. As long as they don't carp about my putting "Merry Christmas" up, then they can do what they want.
I'm just sick of having to walk on eggshells around people who "just don't believe the same way I do and are special..." *puke* The best thing that I've heard in protest of being politically correct around Christmas is the song (well, it's not exactly a song, but there are some lyrics to it) is "The Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday" on the Brad Paisley Christmas CD. It's these three cowboys that are sitting around a campfire and they want to sing some Christmas songs, but they get bleeped every time they try to say "Christmas". The omnipotent narrator comes on a explains it to them and they try to get around it, but every time they think they have it fixed, something else gets bleeped. Example: one of them tries to sing "White Holiday," but "White" gets bleeped and he has to sing "Caucasian Holiday," which of course sounds like bull-*bleep*. The best line in the whole thing is when one of them says "I'll sing *Bleep*mas Carols if I want to sing *Bleep*mas Carols (hence my subject line). It's good stuff. The rest of the CD is pretty good too and I recommend picking it up.
Have a Merry *Bleep*mas!
Love from,
Jenny Wildcat
PS, CHRISTMAS!!! (hah, I got it!)
PPS, ChristmasChristmasChristmasChristmasChristmasChristmasChristmasChristmasChristmasChristmasChristmasChristmas
PPPS, Just in case you didn't get it the first time (Christmas!!)
Anyway, it's time for my annual Christmas [roast] beef, which I was thinking about on my way out of Logan. I passed a house in the Granola Head District of town (approximately from 400 North to Center Street) that had "Happy Festivus" out on the lawn in Christmas lights. Now, granted, I don't know what Festivus is, but it sounds like an Ancient Roman winter fertility celebration that athiests picked up on so they don't feel left out of all the secular greed and 60% off sales that are a byproduct of end of year winter celebrations. I guess they need an excuse to drink hard liquor and have animal-type sexual relations with people they've only known for five minutes. Why they need that, I don't know. I thought that was what their New Year's was for (you celebrate Christmas in your way, I suppose... even if you don't call it Christmas). I will say this: I'd rather have a colorful Christmas tree up than a bland aluminum Festivus pole (but I guess it would be hard to pole dance with all those ornaments... I calls 'em as I sees 'em).
Okay, so I took the time to look "Festivus" up on Wikipedia and found out that it was inspired by (of all things) a Seinfeld episode. So, I wasn't quite right about all the lewdness and drunkenness (it's only been around for ten years, give it time), but still, it's a holiday for people who want to eat, drink and be merry
Onwards, one thought led to another and here is my beef: As I was passing through downtown Logan with all the Christmas decorations, I noticed that several windows said "Happy Holidays," which has always bothered me. If you have a Christmas tree and a Christmas Santa Claus and depictions of Santa's elves getting ready for Christmas, who are you fooling by saying "Happy Holidays?" If you threw a menorah or some earthy symbol of Kwanzaa in there (what the hell is Kwanzaa, anyway?), I might be able to buy it, but most people who celebrate Christmas do not. If it's obvious that you're celebrating Christmas, for the love of all that is good and holy, say "Merry Christmas!" Personally, if there's someone in the neighborhood that wants to decorate for Hanukkah, then they can put up "Happy Hanukkah" in their window. As long as they don't carp about my putting "Merry Christmas" up, then they can do what they want.
I'm just sick of having to walk on eggshells around people who "just don't believe the same way I do and are special..." *puke* The best thing that I've heard in protest of being politically correct around Christmas is the song (well, it's not exactly a song, but there are some lyrics to it) is "The Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday" on the Brad Paisley Christmas CD. It's these three cowboys that are sitting around a campfire and they want to sing some Christmas songs, but they get bleeped every time they try to say "Christmas". The omnipotent narrator comes on a explains it to them and they try to get around it, but every time they think they have it fixed, something else gets bleeped. Example: one of them tries to sing "White Holiday," but "White" gets bleeped and he has to sing "Caucasian Holiday," which of course sounds like bull-*bleep*. The best line in the whole thing is when one of them says "I'll sing *Bleep*mas Carols if I want to sing *Bleep*mas Carols (hence my subject line). It's good stuff. The rest of the CD is pretty good too and I recommend picking it up.
Have a Merry *Bleep*mas!
Love from,
Jenny Wildcat
PS, CHRISTMAS!!! (hah, I got it!)
PPS, ChristmasChristmasChristmasChristmasChristmasChristmasChristmasChristmasChristmasChristmasChristmasChristmas
PPPS, Just in case you didn't get it the first time (Christmas!!)
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no subject
Date: 2006-12-15 10:43 pm (UTC)Now, if you’ve seen the episode, you would know the Festivus holiday is a joke. They’re not being serious and they are not trying to find a “politically correct” holiday. That episode actually pokes fun at the commercialization of Christmas. I love it!
Anyhow, how Festivus came about:
After fighting to get his son a doll and ultimately NEVER GETTING IT ANYWAY (this totally reminds me of “Jingle all the Way”), George’s father decided he hate Christmas because it was way too commercialized. So he decided to make his own holiday for the people who feel like they’ve been always left behind in Christmas (always too late to get that present or whatever). It’s a Festivus of the rest of us!
Anywho, instead of a tree, there’s just an aluminum pole (no decoration needed!). And at dinner time you gather around and talk about all the ways each person had disappointed you over the year. You’ve got to see Frank yelling at everyone in this episode. Too funny!
“Personally, if there's someone in the neighborhood that wants to decorate for Hanukkah, then they can put up "Happy Hanukkah" in their window. As long as they don't carp about my putting "Merry Christmas" up, then they can do what they want.”
I totally agree. Hmm . . . can I reword that?
“Personally, if there's someone in the neighborhood that wants to decorate for Christmas, then they can put up "Merry Christmas" in their window. As long as they don't carp about my putting "Happy Holidays" up, then they can do what they want.”
I think that’s fair too.
So, can we start celebrating Decemberween?
Date: 2006-12-16 12:09 am (UTC)Well, excuuuse me. I didn't know not knowing "Festivus" made me such a cultural retard. What am I supposed to think when people have "Happy Festivus" on their front lawns in complete seriousness and when the LCD screen by the TSC ticket office has "Happy Festivus" written on the politically correct listing of all the Christmas holidays. And how stupid is that when people start celebrating a holiday that doesn't really exist, just so they can get in on the celebrating action (well, there's Kwanzaa, so maybe I shouldn't say that).
When you get a chance, go to the 600 East 400 North intersection and look on the northeast corner and you'll know what prompted this. Tell them that Festivus is a made-up-as-a-joke holiday.
If you think Christmas has become too commercial, watch the Charlie Brown Christmas and bask in the joy that is Linus reciting the Christmas story from Luke 2. My point is that we don't need to make up bogus holidays just so we can feel all warm and fuzzy inside about not being commercial because we can do that with the holidays we've got.
Re: So, can we start celebrating Decemberween?
Date: 2006-12-19 08:31 am (UTC)I thought your point was that people have become way to politically correct at this time of year (or ANY time of year for that matter, but that’s my own addition).
I would love to celebrate Decemberween! But there are already plenty of Holidays in December . . . how about we make it Augustween. It has a sort of bell-chiming ring to it, don’t you think?
Haven’t you or your family ever made up a holiday? Or new traditions even. New traditions get started all the time and most of them are an excuse to have fun. Freak! I’ve made July 31 holiday for me and I’m sure I don’t need to tell you why ^_^. Pretty much all holidays are made up if you think about it.
Oh, and about Kwanzaa. I know hardly anything about it myself, but I do know that it is a holiday to celebrate African roots and there are seven qualities that they promote. Actually, I just found a website about it here:
www.officialkwanzaawebsite.org
After learning about it in elementary school I’ve always wanted to see how it was celebrated. Just like how I wanted to see how Hanukkah was celebrated. I think it would be really cool and interesting to see. But then, I’ve never really known too many black people . . . or Jews for that matter, and (this is off the subject) I’d be a little afraid I’d make a mess of myself because I’m very awkward in situations where I don’t know what I’m doing.
And I certainly am disturbed by anyone who seriously celebrates Festivus with all of its “traditions” of disappointment and wrestling and all, but celebrating it just to be funny is another thing (It’s something that I do all the time ^_^).