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Especially at a particular Wal-Mart that you hate to shop at because there`s a possibility you`ll run into people you knew in childhood that made your life HELL but will be all sweet and kind to your face and say "Oh, we`ve missed soooo much since your family moved" (because, really, they missed stepping all over your little peasant face and gossiping about your parents who "ruined" the town by selling their farm to a developer so people could move in who weren`t drunken inbred white trash whores)... where was I going with this? Oh yeah - the solution!
I go into the aforementioned Wal-Mart with a list, knowing exactly what I need so there is little temptation to browse. I purposely rush around impatiently looking like I`m in a hurry and have no time to talk. And when I run into people, I focus on the tops of their heads so if it does look like I`m looking at them and they wonder if they do know me, but they aren't quite sure because I certainly don't act like I know them. So, they go on their merry way, looking for the 12-pack of Coronas for their next party and I find the mousse and printer ink I need.
And if I happen to run into somebody I know/knew and they insist on talking to me, I am as polite as I can be and leave quickly. On the rare occasion I find someone I don't mind stopping for a minute, I will talk to them but at this particular Wal-Mart, that is a rare moment indeed (and I'm not going to say which Wal-Mart in case people I really like find this and are hurt by it. But if you know me well enough, you can probably guess where this Wal-Mart is. And if you are hurt by this post, you're probably not one of these gutter-wallowing HEROES I'm referring to. Trust me, the dinks I'm talking about don't have feelings to be hurt.But I'm secretly wishing some of them do find it).
I go into the aforementioned Wal-Mart with a list, knowing exactly what I need so there is little temptation to browse. I purposely rush around impatiently looking like I`m in a hurry and have no time to talk. And when I run into people, I focus on the tops of their heads so if it does look like I`m looking at them and they wonder if they do know me, but they aren't quite sure because I certainly don't act like I know them. So, they go on their merry way, looking for the 12-pack of Coronas for their next party and I find the mousse and printer ink I need.
And if I happen to run into somebody I know/knew and they insist on talking to me, I am as polite as I can be and leave quickly. On the rare occasion I find someone I don't mind stopping for a minute, I will talk to them but at this particular Wal-Mart, that is a rare moment indeed (and I'm not going to say which Wal-Mart in case people I really like find this and are hurt by it. But if you know me well enough, you can probably guess where this Wal-Mart is. And if you are hurt by this post, you're probably not one of these gutter-wallowing HEROES I'm referring to. Trust me, the dinks I'm talking about don't have feelings to be hurt.
