It's my second official day on Christmas break and I'm quite relaxed. It's kinda fun, I'm sitting here in my living room watching "Jingle All the Way" ("Fly TurboMan, use your jetpack!" ... tee hee, media types covering a kiddie Christmas parade. Talk about cheese and crackers ^_^)
Anyway, it's time for my annual Christmas [roast] beef, which I was thinking about on my way out of Logan. I passed a house in the Granola Head District of town (approximately from 400 North to Center Street) that had "Happy Festivus" out on the lawn in Christmas lights. Now, granted, I don't know what Festivus is, but it sounds like an Ancient Roman winter fertility celebration that athiests picked up on so they don't feel left out of all the secular greed and 60% off sales that are a byproduct of end of year winter celebrations. I guess they need an excuse to drink hard liquor and have animal-type sexual relations with people they've only known for five minutes. Why they need that, I don't know. I thought that was what their New Year's was for (you celebrate Christmas in your way, I suppose... even if you don't call it Christmas). I will say this: I'd rather have a colorful Christmas tree up than a bland aluminum Festivus pole (but I guess it would be hard to pole dance with all those ornaments... I calls 'em as I sees 'em).
Okay, so I took the time to look "Festivus" up on Wikipedia and found out that it was inspired by (of all things) a Seinfeld episode. So, I wasn't quite right about all the lewdness and drunkenness (it's only been around for ten years, give it time), but still, it's a holiday for people who want to eat, drink and be merryand sacrifice their livers. Excuse me for celebrating a holiday that makes me want to be better and have actual direction in my life. Sheesh...
Onwards, one thought led to another and here is my beef: As I was passing through downtown Logan with all the Christmas decorations, I noticed that several windows said "Happy Holidays," which has always bothered me. If you have a Christmas tree and a Christmas Santa Claus and depictions of Santa's elves getting ready for Christmas, who are you fooling by saying "Happy Holidays?" If you threw a menorah or some earthy symbol of Kwanzaa in there (what the hell is Kwanzaa, anyway?), I might be able to buy it, but most people who celebrate Christmas do not. If it's obvious that you're celebrating Christmas, for the love of all that is good and holy, say "Merry Christmas!" Personally, if there's someone in the neighborhood that wants to decorate for Hanukkah, then they can put up "Happy Hanukkah" in their window. As long as they don't carp about my putting "Merry Christmas" up, then they can do what they want.
I'm just sick of having to walk on eggshells around people who "just don't believe the same way I do and are special..." *puke* The best thing that I've heard in protest of being politically correct around Christmas is the song (well, it's not exactly a song, but there are some lyrics to it) is "The Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday" on the Brad Paisley Christmas CD. It's these three cowboys that are sitting around a campfire and they want to sing some Christmas songs, but they get bleeped every time they try to say "Christmas". The omnipotent narrator comes on a explains it to them and they try to get around it, but every time they think they have it fixed, something else gets bleeped. Example: one of them tries to sing "White Holiday," but "White" gets bleeped and he has to sing "Caucasian Holiday," which of course sounds like bull-*bleep*. The best line in the whole thing is when one of them says "I'll sing *Bleep*mas Carols if I want to sing *Bleep*mas Carols (hence my subject line). It's good stuff. The rest of the CD is pretty good too and I recommend picking it up.
Have a Merry *Bleep*mas!
Love from,
Jenny Wildcat
PS, CHRISTMAS!!! (hah, I got it!)
PPS, ChristmasChristmasChristmasChristmasChristmasChristmasChristmasChristmasChristmasChristmasChristmasChristmas
PPPS, Just in case you didn't get it the first time (Christmas!!)
Anyway, it's time for my annual Christmas [roast] beef, which I was thinking about on my way out of Logan. I passed a house in the Granola Head District of town (approximately from 400 North to Center Street) that had "Happy Festivus" out on the lawn in Christmas lights. Now, granted, I don't know what Festivus is, but it sounds like an Ancient Roman winter fertility celebration that athiests picked up on so they don't feel left out of all the secular greed and 60% off sales that are a byproduct of end of year winter celebrations. I guess they need an excuse to drink hard liquor and have animal-type sexual relations with people they've only known for five minutes. Why they need that, I don't know. I thought that was what their New Year's was for (you celebrate Christmas in your way, I suppose... even if you don't call it Christmas). I will say this: I'd rather have a colorful Christmas tree up than a bland aluminum Festivus pole (but I guess it would be hard to pole dance with all those ornaments... I calls 'em as I sees 'em).
Okay, so I took the time to look "Festivus" up on Wikipedia and found out that it was inspired by (of all things) a Seinfeld episode. So, I wasn't quite right about all the lewdness and drunkenness (it's only been around for ten years, give it time), but still, it's a holiday for people who want to eat, drink and be merry
Onwards, one thought led to another and here is my beef: As I was passing through downtown Logan with all the Christmas decorations, I noticed that several windows said "Happy Holidays," which has always bothered me. If you have a Christmas tree and a Christmas Santa Claus and depictions of Santa's elves getting ready for Christmas, who are you fooling by saying "Happy Holidays?" If you threw a menorah or some earthy symbol of Kwanzaa in there (what the hell is Kwanzaa, anyway?), I might be able to buy it, but most people who celebrate Christmas do not. If it's obvious that you're celebrating Christmas, for the love of all that is good and holy, say "Merry Christmas!" Personally, if there's someone in the neighborhood that wants to decorate for Hanukkah, then they can put up "Happy Hanukkah" in their window. As long as they don't carp about my putting "Merry Christmas" up, then they can do what they want.
I'm just sick of having to walk on eggshells around people who "just don't believe the same way I do and are special..." *puke* The best thing that I've heard in protest of being politically correct around Christmas is the song (well, it's not exactly a song, but there are some lyrics to it) is "The Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday" on the Brad Paisley Christmas CD. It's these three cowboys that are sitting around a campfire and they want to sing some Christmas songs, but they get bleeped every time they try to say "Christmas". The omnipotent narrator comes on a explains it to them and they try to get around it, but every time they think they have it fixed, something else gets bleeped. Example: one of them tries to sing "White Holiday," but "White" gets bleeped and he has to sing "Caucasian Holiday," which of course sounds like bull-*bleep*. The best line in the whole thing is when one of them says "I'll sing *Bleep*mas Carols if I want to sing *Bleep*mas Carols (hence my subject line). It's good stuff. The rest of the CD is pretty good too and I recommend picking it up.
Have a Merry *Bleep*mas!
Love from,
Jenny Wildcat
PS, CHRISTMAS!!! (hah, I got it!)
PPS, ChristmasChristmasChristmasChristmasChristmasChristmasChristmasChristmasChristmasChristmasChristmasChristmas
PPPS, Just in case you didn't get it the first time (Christmas!!)