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Reversing Global Stupidity
Jun. 30th, 2006 12:36 pmWell, it's officially been summer for over a week now and you know what that means: It's time for the annual Global Warming Scare. Like clockwork, every year when the temperature hits over 75 degrees, the media, politicians, scientists and every other idiot who rides their bike everywhere and screams that humans are thoughtless pinheads bemoans the -- erm -- "fact" that the world has suddenly gotten a lot warmer and that this will cause global chaos and melting of the ice caps. And humans are completely to blame.
But, if you're like me, you have to wonder: the world gets warmer every year. In case you missed in hiding in your office or controlled laboratory, around November-ish, it's starts getting a little chilly. Sometimes, this white stuff commonly known as "snow" falls. This climate lasts about until the middle or end of February. Then, during March, April and May, we enjoy this phenomenon called "Spring". You know, the sun's out, there's a cool breeze, sometimes we get big rain storms.
Then, around, oh, say June 21st, it gets hot. Very hot. 90 degrees in Logan and 110 in St. George. Sunscreen advertisments start popping up as do public service announcements from cancer awareness groups. People are encouraged to stay inside during the heat of the day and come out when the sun goes down when it cools off a bit.
Anyone who has lived in an area (say, Utah) long enough and has paid attention to the weather knows that Summer is hot. Every 4th and 24th of July, parents of kids in the marching band give them hats and bottled water for the parades. Everyone carps about how hot it is EVERY FREAKING YEAR!! Why? Because this stuff happens every year in Utah. Summer is blisteringly hot because we live in a freaking DESERT!!! Winters are freezing because of the altitude and MOUNTAINS!!! But, the likes of Al Gore and Rocky Anderson can't get over the power-grabbing myth (and it is a myth, people from folklore workshop -- it's the earth-worshipping cult) that humans are soooo powerful that we can rearrange nature's programming simply by using hairspray. Bull shit. (and that's another topic for another day).
The next person that says they can't remember it being This Hot this time of year is going to get a Dasani up their nose. It happened last June. Here's a guess: it'll happen next June and quite possibly the June after that. As Bill Engvall said: Write. It. Down. It's been this way for years. Do you know what Brigham Young said after he declared the Salt Lake Valley the Right Place? (paraphrased): "Brother Heber, could you turn up the AC? It's hot in this valley."
Unless Global Warming is really a term for the "bizarre" phenomenon between February and June when we gradually go from winter to summer, I don't want to hear about it. People are not powerful enough enough to screw with Mother Nature. Despite all the everything we've created and built and dug up and planted and the list goes on, the earth is still spinning around the sun, which keeps heating us up every July and we're still living here. Global Warming just doesn't happen and don't flatter yourself that it really does. Record temps break every year. It's as predictable as the day after Thanksgiving shopping rush. Remember: 20 years ago, we were supposed to be heading for another ice age. I'm still waiting for Frosty to appear.
If these nits really want to get on TV and Yahoo news, all they have to do is get in a car wreck. The media will be on it like white on rice and everyone will be happy. They'll be on the news and the common sense gurus will have cause to celebrate (though someone else is inevitably going to take their place).
Think about it Rocky (Don't strain anything).
Love from,
Jenny Wildcat
But, if you're like me, you have to wonder: the world gets warmer every year. In case you missed in hiding in your office or controlled laboratory, around November-ish, it's starts getting a little chilly. Sometimes, this white stuff commonly known as "snow" falls. This climate lasts about until the middle or end of February. Then, during March, April and May, we enjoy this phenomenon called "Spring". You know, the sun's out, there's a cool breeze, sometimes we get big rain storms.
Then, around, oh, say June 21st, it gets hot. Very hot. 90 degrees in Logan and 110 in St. George. Sunscreen advertisments start popping up as do public service announcements from cancer awareness groups. People are encouraged to stay inside during the heat of the day and come out when the sun goes down when it cools off a bit.
Anyone who has lived in an area (say, Utah) long enough and has paid attention to the weather knows that Summer is hot. Every 4th and 24th of July, parents of kids in the marching band give them hats and bottled water for the parades. Everyone carps about how hot it is EVERY FREAKING YEAR!! Why? Because this stuff happens every year in Utah. Summer is blisteringly hot because we live in a freaking DESERT!!! Winters are freezing because of the altitude and MOUNTAINS!!! But, the likes of Al Gore and Rocky Anderson can't get over the power-grabbing myth (and it is a myth, people from folklore workshop -- it's the earth-worshipping cult) that humans are soooo powerful that we can rearrange nature's programming simply by using hairspray. Bull shit. (and that's another topic for another day).
The next person that says they can't remember it being This Hot this time of year is going to get a Dasani up their nose. It happened last June. Here's a guess: it'll happen next June and quite possibly the June after that. As Bill Engvall said: Write. It. Down. It's been this way for years. Do you know what Brigham Young said after he declared the Salt Lake Valley the Right Place? (paraphrased): "Brother Heber, could you turn up the AC? It's hot in this valley."
Unless Global Warming is really a term for the "bizarre" phenomenon between February and June when we gradually go from winter to summer, I don't want to hear about it. People are not powerful enough enough to screw with Mother Nature. Despite all the everything we've created and built and dug up and planted and the list goes on, the earth is still spinning around the sun, which keeps heating us up every July and we're still living here. Global Warming just doesn't happen and don't flatter yourself that it really does. Record temps break every year. It's as predictable as the day after Thanksgiving shopping rush. Remember: 20 years ago, we were supposed to be heading for another ice age. I'm still waiting for Frosty to appear.
If these nits really want to get on TV and Yahoo news, all they have to do is get in a car wreck. The media will be on it like white on rice and everyone will be happy. They'll be on the news and the common sense gurus will have cause to celebrate (though someone else is inevitably going to take their place).
Think about it Rocky (Don't strain anything).
Love from,
Jenny Wildcat
