Don't you love how the internet makes it so much easier to stalk?
For the record, living in a 'feminist world' is not why guys don't take initiative. I am surrounded by guys quite a bit and dating conversations come up sometimes. I feel like I know too much about guys for my own good, but I've learned quite a bit.
It's not that they don't feel empowered to be a gentleman because of a 'feminist world.' Feminism is not to blame at all. In fact, plenty of guys are frusterated that girls are "stationary" and guys are expected to be "moving" (to use a friends words). It's frusterating because they've "moved" so many times and have been rejected while the girls just sit there and expect them to do all the work. (That is NOT what I think. It's not as black and white as that, but some guys think that way).
And you know, I've taken the initiative to ask guys out myself and to be honest, it is nervewrecking. Before I did, I expected the guy to act, but now I know part of me expected it because I was too lazy or afraid to do it myself.
We need to give these guys a break (unless they are cocky. If they are cocky, then they diserve it ^_^.) Make it a little easier for them. I always like to give the guy a chance to ask me out first, but we need to give them opportunities to do it. Seriously, would you ask anyone out that gives you no sign of interest? I think not.
What worked really well for me in college (not so much here though) is I would talk about some activity going on that I would love to go to and one of us would say "We should go to that." Pretty simple, but it works.
P.S. I hate meddiling and games too. I'm loosing patience for them.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2009-10-21 04:55 pm (UTC)For the record, living in a 'feminist world' is not why guys don't take initiative. I am surrounded by guys quite a bit and dating conversations come up sometimes. I feel like I know too much about guys for my own good, but I've learned quite a bit.
It's not that they don't feel empowered to be a gentleman because of a 'feminist world.' Feminism is not to blame at all. In fact, plenty of guys are frusterated that girls are "stationary" and guys are expected to be "moving" (to use a friends words). It's frusterating because they've "moved" so many times and have been rejected while the girls just sit there and expect them to do all the work. (That is NOT what I think. It's not as black and white as that, but some guys think that way).
And you know, I've taken the initiative to ask guys out myself and to be honest, it is nervewrecking. Before I did, I expected the guy to act, but now I know part of me expected it because I was too lazy or afraid to do it myself.
We need to give these guys a break (unless they are cocky. If they are cocky, then they diserve it ^_^.) Make it a little easier for them. I always like to give the guy a chance to ask me out first, but we need to give them opportunities to do it. Seriously, would you ask anyone out that gives you no sign of interest? I think not.
What worked really well for me in college (not so much here though) is I would talk about some activity going on that I would love to go to and one of us would say "We should go to that." Pretty simple, but it works.
P.S. I hate meddiling and games too. I'm loosing patience for them.