I Have Been Changed For Good

[jenny_wildcat]

I was going to wait to do this, but Leaky posted one last news item from JKRowling.com.  It's a note from Jo acknowledging all the amazing people that got her to this point (and if I could link directly to her note, I would.  You go to Jo's website, click on the pink eraser on her desk.  That takes you to a closed door that usually has a "Do Not Disturb" sign on it, but the sign is gone.  Click the handle and the door opens to reveal a desk with a piece of paper on it.  Click the paper and read the note.  The Lexicon might have it up later, who knows?).  It humbles me that someone so wonderful and talented will come up with a letter to everyone who's helped her and it's even more awesome that she included her oldest daughter the way that she did.

I've been trying to come up with a meaningful way to express what I'm feeling right now.  On the one hand, I've been waiting for this since I was a goofy high school sophomore.  I want there to be closure to Harry's story - whether that bodes well or ill.  Then again, I don't want the experience to end either.

I have known Harry through what I call my "Formative Years" - through high school and college (some of us are late bloomers).  When I was first introduced to Harry, I was a shy little geek without a driver's license that wouldn't take a chance on anything.  I wouldn't stick up for myself or the people/things I love and am loyal to.  I was content to go wherever the wind took me and, looking back, I would not have been happy where I would have ended up (on a lighter note, I could hardly run the internet before Harry).  But now, all of that has changed to one degree or another.  I've learned that I love writing stories as well as reading them.  I've learned that I can have an opinion and a belief system that may not be popular with the rest of the world.  I've learned to stick up for myself and those I love because it's the right thing to do.  I've learned that it's okay to make mistakes (as long as Dumbledore likes it and he'll reward your house with a million points ^_^)  In short, I find myself echoing Melissa Anelli of the Leaky Cauldron: Before Harry, there was nothing brave about me.  After Harry, I work every day to be a deserving member of the House of Gryffindor.

Harry has been with me in my joys and triumphs and also my letdowns.  My good days were made better by the influence of Harry Potter and my bad days were made less bad by the examples Harry and his friends provide.  From the books to the movies to the websites to the podcasts to the nutty fan discussions to the disagreements to the midnights of release date insanity - I have found things that make me happy and things that I've applied in my life that have made me a better person.

There are precious few things that have come along in my life that have made such an impact and Harry Potter is one of them.  Because of Harry, I have gained the confidence to tackle things that I would probably would have otherwise avoided.  I have made so many good friends and acquaintances that I wouldn't have known.  I'm not saying that I credit Harry Potter 100% with everything good in my life, but he's responsible for a substantial portion of it.  If I had to make a list, it would go: Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, Mom and Dad, Family, Friends, Harry Potter, Everything Else (considering what Everything Else entails, trust me, that's substantial).

In conclusion, as I was coming home last night, I was listening to the "Wicked" soundtrack and a song came on that I felt was perfect to express what I want to say.  If I could send out a song dedication to Harry Potter and Jo Rowling, this would be it.  It's called "For Good":

I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you:

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend:
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you:

Because I knew you:

I have been changed for good

And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done you blame me for

But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share

And none of it seems to matter anymore

Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes the sun.
Like a stream the meets a boulder halfway through the wood.

Like a ship blown from its mooring by a wind off the sea.
Like a seed dropped by a bird in the wood.

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
I do believe I have been changed for the better?

And because I knew you:

Because I knew you:

Because I knew you:
I have been changed for good.

I am grateful for my aunt and uncle recommending Harry Potter to our family all those years ago.  I'm grateful for a lazy summer day in August 2000 where I saw a little unopened paperback book sitting on the bookshelf in the basement.  I'm grateful that I was prompted to open that little book and read "Mr. and Mrs. Dursley of number four Privet Drive..."  I'm grateful for everything that has happened to me since and I am honored to have grown up with Harry and tagged along for all his adventures.  Even though the fandom and friendships will continue, the journey ends tonight and, while I'm sure many tears will be shed, I am grateful for everything it has meant to me.

"With you whatever happens."

See you on the flip side.

Love from,
Jenny Wildcat
July 20, 2007

PS, As of right now, my internet existence is null and void (what with Potter parties to attend and books to read and such).  I'll probably be back on Monday with a greater understanding of the universe ^_~